Sunday, August 2, 2009

Getting magnetised

"Tryst of opposites"
Remember when your parents told you "School e sudhu bhalo cheleder sathe bondhutto korbe, baje cheleder sathe ekdom misbena" (In school, make friends only with nice guys, don't mingle with bad guys)...of course, the definitions of good and bad were nicely laid down to this regard, we kids belonged to two categories - 1) those who followed exactly what was told to them and 2) those who disregarded it....most of us don't exactly know where we belonged coz there were few students who can be 'by definition' be categorised into good or bad, but mostly were the individuals to stand in LoC, and the borderline is so blurred that you can hardly identify which side is your prospective friend......Well, these are really old stories and memories are so fragmented that its even difficult to contemplate those moments...Then why I bring them up?

Well, I was thinking of something else....about the different kinds of ppl we meet now....there is this very irritating type who will always react negatively to good news....some react like this when the news is about others (and not their's) while the other kind specifically reacts like this when its their's but will be surprisingly overjoyed when the news is of someone else's.....The first kind is probably well understood, they are the typical jealous kind, and so I really don't want to discuss them . However, the second kind is more interesting. For me they are quite repulsive, but not for everyone, they are liked by many, in fact, they are quite popular within their circles...and why won't they be....after all when u have achieved something, these 'types' will be the first to congratulate you, they are the ones who will keep giving u superiority complexes....and what happens when u go and give them a good news???? well, u have to listen to all the apprehensions, concerns...which actually gives u an opportunity to chip in with advices, to be the all knowing big brother...and that makes u even happier, the feeling that u did something good and the greatness that brings with it is just why i don't like them???

Coz I am so conscious about such things that I will always feel and realise (sometimes wrongly too) the person in front of me celebrating my success fakely...all those kind words...whether they mean anything at all.....that's still ok...but the worst is the other part...u go to the person and tell that hey man see u actually did well, u got the interview call, congrats....bcoz the sucker had told you earlier that there's not even 1% chance of his getting there, now he has to justify now he reacts..."oh really, well well i think these ppl randomly call ppl for interviews, what a shame, if I can get anybody can get. Its just an accident. Now still the interviews are left. No chance. It would be an embarrasment and waste of time & money to go there. lets see what to do. Don't spread the news. ok?" after this you are expected to boost the person. Tell good things about him..and keep on blah blahing.....I simply can't do it..maybe i start a bit but to continue...takes a lot out of me.....I guess maybe with girls I can linger it a bit more!!! And then there are tough nuts to crack..those who will start telling u "how do u know? what makes u believe in me??? i would know better how bad was the exam, isn't it???" well, then sometimes u feel that u did a crime...why in the first place I discussed it? And if u leave without a single word, then u feel guilty...u think " I should have consoled the poor chap. He is in lots of pressure, I should be more responsible...I am so unsocial..etc etc etc...." and if u keep on lingering around such ppl, u get the idea that this is the proper way to react, all sucessful ppl do that....which at this moment I disagree, I guess there are better ways..... U will also find really good achievers who will talk like as if they are the whatever they excel, they want us to believe that they dnt have the talent for it...well, some ppl say its just a way for them to be nice and not arrogant...i feel actually if u keep on behaving like this, its more arrogant coz u r making the other person feel that without any effort u can reach great heights and as if u have the 'inborn' talent to excel...of course on the other hand if u blabber too much then u wud be a laughing stock.....probably thats why ppl who think they can't strike the right balance move to the "I don't know how it happened" side.....

Now let us turn back...its time to justify why I evoked our parent's teaching at the beginning...Its more to do with why I find the above mentioned ppl repulsive and its also a lot to do with the idea of of ppl, as in companionship also has to do with magnetism and temporary and permanent magnets!!!!!
Why were our parents so concerned? Coz at that age, we were are so malleable that we can become like all those 'bad' kids and move in the wrong direction...but what about this age, aren't we malleable now? probably not as much as those times, but nevertheless, I believe that we aren't immune to the effects of company....the ppl we interact with can really change us, mold us a little, not too much may ways which is difficult to perceive in short interval of time but can show effects after long and chronic exposure of such company!!! To cut a long story short, positive ppl can still make u like them and same goes for negative what happens if u keep on interacting with all these pessimists around??? would u lose urself or would u be able to change them??? so how u know that ur noble intentions of 'being a friend in need' or 'being there when it matters' is actually helping ur friend rather than harming urself??? difficult decision...Once (maybe 8 yrs ago) a person told me how optimist and positive ppl are like magnets...and all other ppl have this ability to be magnetised...when magnets interacts with them they also get magnetised and with good enough interaction, they themselves can be magnets...then came the word of caution - if u are just magnetised, u are like a temporary magnet, u need to be a permanent magnet...if u at this point try to convert someone to a magnet, u urself will lose ur magnetic properties...first be the permanent magnet and then think of changing the world....i must say I was very impressed with this analogy, not because I understood the depth but because it sounded so nice...however, now I have been appreciating those words more in its right spirit....I don't believe that I am a sort of permanent magnet, and not only that, I also believe not everybody is worth helping and advising to...these ppl actually want to say more than listen....and by saying all this awful things about themselves (using irritating {for me} terminology) they just want more sympathy...its just a habit....a habit with has formed coz ppl accepted that behavior....yes, an impact of the when u, inspite of being irritated, show ur compassion, u actually encourage them to do so......the worst part is that they maybe be ur friends, parents, relatives, lovers and ppl whom u really care and can't avoid....apart from saving my 'magnetic' properties, i don't want to encourage them to act like that and that's probably my way of helping them...atleast I don't want to blame myself for being part of a company which led someone to hit the turf hard....even though its weird, but somehow its true that "You talk like a loser, and loser will you be, talk about winning, atleast you will know how to win" But I also believe that to decide whether a company is good or bad for u, u need to spend time there to decide for urself...u need to work hard to make ur own set of 'definition' rather than follow the conventional ones....

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